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DescriptionShow Description    

Two And A Half MenTwo And A Half Men  premiered on CBS on September 22, 2003. The series is a comedy about a wealthy bachelor whose life is turned upside down when his brother and young nephew move into his Malibu beach house. Charlie Harper savors his swinging single status and his lucrative job as the writer of popular jingles, but his self-indulgent lifestyle is about to come to an end when his about-to-be-divorced younger brother Alan and Alan's 10-year-old son, Jake, move into his beach-front home. As Alan, an uptight chiropractor, comes to terms with being dumped by his wife, Judith, he gets little compassion from his self-absorbed brother. Soon, however, polar opposites Charlie and Alan discover that they have more in common than they think: they both love Jake and want what's best for him. The brothers agree to create a home for Jake at Charlie's, despite the realization that they'll likely drive each other crazy in the process.

 
StatusShow Status    

Canceled/ended after 12 seasons; ended on TBA

 
Cast    
Character
Actor
Charlie Harper
Charlie Sheen
Alan Harper
Jon Cryer
Jake Harper
Angus T. Jones
Walden Schmidt
Ashton Kutcher
 
Episodes    
Season 1 (2003-2004)
24 Episodes In Season 1
  1. Pilot (Original Air Date 9/22/2003)
  2. Big Flappy Bastards (Original Air Date 9/29/2003)
  3. Go East On Sunset Until You Reach The Gates Of Hell (Original Air Date 10/6/2003)
  4. If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going To Take A Nap (Original Air Date 10/13/2003)
  5. The Last Thing You Want Is To Wind Up With A Hump (Original Air Date 10/20/2003)
  6. Did You Check With The Captain Of The Flying Monkeys? (Original Air Date 10/27/2003)
  7. If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake (Original Air Date 11/3/2003)
  8. Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without A Snoot-Ful (Original Air Date 11/10/2003)
  9. Phase One, Complete (Original Air Date 11/17/20030
  10. Merry Thanksgiving (Original Air Date 11/24/2003)
  11. Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor (Original Air Date 12/15/2003)
  12. Camel Filters + Pheromones (Original Air Date 1/5/2004)
  13. Sara Like Puny Alan (Original Air Date 1/12/2004)
  14. I Can't Afford Hyenas (Original Air Date 2/2/2004)
  15. Round One To The Hot Crazy Chick, Part 1 (Original Air Date 2/9/2004)
  16. That Was Saliva, Alan, Part 2 (Original Air Date 2/16/2004)
  17. Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats (Original Air Date 2/23/2004)
  18. An Old Flame With A New Wick (Original Air Date 3/1/2004)
  19. I Remember The Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You (Original Air Date 3/22/2004)
  20. Hey, I Can Pee Outside In The Dark (Original Air Date 4/19/2004)
  21. No Sniffing, No Wowing (Original Air Date 5/3/2004)
  22. My Doctor Has A Cow Puppet (Original Air Date 5/10/2004)
  23. Just Like Buffalo (Original Air Date 5/17/2004)
  24. Can You Feel My Finger? (Original Air Date 5/24/2004)
Season 2 (2004-2005)
24 Episodes In Season 2
  1. Back Off Mary Poppins (Original Air Date 9/20/2004)
  2. Enjoy Those Garlic Balls (Original Air Date 9/27/2004)
  3. A Bag Full Of Jawea (Original Air Date 10/4/2004)
  4. Go Get Mommy's Bra (Original Air Date 10/11/2004)
  5. Bad News From The Clinic (Original Air Date 10/18/2004)
  6. The Price Of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance (Original Air Date 10/25/2004)
  7. A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out In Fontana (Original Air Date 11/8/2004)
  8. Frankenstein And The Horny Villagers (Original Air Date 11/15/2004)
  9. Yes, Monsignor (Original Air Date 11/22/2004)
  10. The Salmon Under My Sweater (Original Air Date 11/29/2004)
  11. Last Chance To See Those Tattoos (Original Air Date 12/13/2004)
  12. A Lungful Of Alan (Original Air Date 1/3/2005)
  13. Zejdz Z Moich Wlosow (Original Air Date 1/17/2005)
  14. Those Big Pink Things With Coconut (Original Air Date 1/31/2005)
  15. Smell The Umbrella Stand (Original Air Date 2/7/2005)
  16. Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth? (Original Air Date 2/14/2005)
  17. Woo-Hoo, A Hernia Exam! (Original Air Date 2/21/2005)
  18. It Was Mame, Mom (Original Air Date 3/7/2005)
  19. A Low, Gutteral Tongue-Flapping Noise (Original Air Date 3/21/2005)
  20. I Always Wanted A Shaved Monkey (Original Air Date 4/18/2005)
  21. A Sympathetic Crotch To Cry On (Original Air Date 5/2/2005)
  22. That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother (Original Air Date 5/9/2005)
  23. Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab (Original Air Date 5/16/2005)
  24. Does This Smell Funny To You? (Original Air Date 5/23/2005)
Season 3 (2005-2006)
22 Episodes In Season 3
  1. Weekend In Bangkok With Two Olympic Gymnasts (Original Air Date 9/19/2005)
  2. Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover (Original Air Date 9/16/2005)
  3. Carpet Burns And A Bite Mark (Original Air Date 10/3/2005)
  4. Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs (Original Air Date 10/10/2005)
  5. We Called It Mr. Pinky (Original Air Date 10/17/2005)
  6. Hi, Mr. Horned One (Original Air Date 10/24/2005)
  7. Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop (Original Air Date 11/7/2005)
  8. That Voodoo That I Do Do (Original Air Date 11/14/2005)
  9. Madame And Her Special Friend (Original Air Date 11/21/2005)
  10. Something Salted And Twisted (Original Air Date 11/28/2005)
  11. Santa's Village Of The Damned (Original Air Date 12/19/2005)
  12. That Special Tug (Original Air Date 1/9/2006)
  13. Humiliation Is A Visual Medium (Original Air Date 1/23/2006)
  14. Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded (Original Air Date 2/6/2006)
  15. My Tongue Is Meat (Original Air Date 2/27/2006)
  16. Ergo, The Booty Call (Original Air Date 3/6/2006)
  17. The Unfortunate Little Schnauser (Original Air Date 3/13/2006)
  18. The Spit-Covered Cobbler (Original Air Date 3/20/2006)
  19. Golly Moses, She's A Muffin (Original Air Date 4/10/2006)
  20. Always A Bridesmaid, Never A Burro (Original Air Date 4/24/2006)
  21. And The Plot Moistens (Original Air Date 5/1/2006)
  22. Just Once With Aunt Sophie (Original Air Date 5/8/2006)
  23. Arguments For The Quickie (Original Air Date 5/15/2006)
  24. That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite (Original Air Date 5/22/2006)
Season 4 (2006-2007)
24 Episodes In Season 4
  1. Working For Caligula (Original Air Date 9/18/2006)
  2. Who's Vod Kanockers (Original Air Date 9/25/2006)
  3. The Sea Is A Harsh Mistress (Original Air Date 10/2/2006)
  4. A Pot Smoking Monkey (Original Air Date 10/9/2006)
  5. A Live Woman Of Proven Fertility (Original Air Date 10/16/2006)
  6. Apologies For The Frivolity (Original Air Date 10/23/2006)
  7. Repeated Blows To His Unformed Head (Original Air Date 11/6/2006)
  8. Release The Dogs (Original Air Date 11/13/2006)
  9. Corey's Been Dead For An Hour (Original Air Date 11/20/2006)
  10. Kissing Abraham Lincoln (Original Air Date 11/27/2006)
  11. Walnuts And Demerol (Original Air Date 12/11/2006)
  12. Castrating Sheep In Montana (Original Air Date 1/8/2007)
  13. Don't Worry, Speed Racer (Original Air Date 1/22/2007)
  14. That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami (Original Air Date 2/5/2007)
  15. My Damn Stalker (Original Air Date 2/12/2007)
  16. Young People Have Phlegm Too (Original Air Date 2/19/2007)
  17. I Merely Slept With A Commie (Original Air Date 2/26/2007)
  18. It Never Rains In Hooterville (Original Air Date 3/19/2007)
  19. Smooth As A Ken Doll (Original Air Date 4/9/2007)
  20. Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee A Lot (Original Air Date 4/16/2007)
  21. Tucked, Taped And Gorgeous (Original Air Date 4/23/2007)
  22. Mr. McGlue's Feedbag (Original Air Date 4/30/2007)
  23. Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin' (Original Air Date 5/7/2007)
  24. Prostitutes And Gelato (Original Air Date 5/14/2007)
Season 5 (2007-2008)
19 Episodes In Season 5
  1. Large Birds, Spiders And Mom (Original Air Date 9/24/2007)
  2. Media Room Slash Dungeon (Original Air Date 10/1/2007)
  3. Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo (Original Air Date 10/8/2007)
  4. City Of Great Racks (Original Air Date 10/15/2007)
  5. Putting Swim Fins On A Cat (Original Air Date 10/22/2007)
  6. Help Daddy Find His Toenail (Original Air Date 10/29/2007)
  7. The Leather Gear Is In The Guest Room (Original Air Date 11/5/2007)
  8. Is There A Mrs. Waffles? (Original Air Date 11/12/2007)
  9. Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids (Original Air Date 11/19/2007)
  10. Almost Like Necrophilia (Original Air Date 11/26/2007)
  11. Meander To Your Dander (Original Air Date 3/17/2008)
  12. A Little Clammy And None Too Fresh (Original Air Date 3/24/2008)
  13. The Soil Is Moist (Original Air Date 3/31/2008)
  14. Winky-Dink Time (Original Air Date 4/14/2008)
  15. Rough Night In Hump Junction (Original Air Date 4/21/2008)
  16. Look At Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty (Original Air Date 4/28/2008)
  17. Fish In A Drawer (Original Air Date 5/5/2008)
  18. If My Hole Could Talk (Original Air Date 5/12/2008)
  19. Waiting For The Right Snapper (Original Air Date 5/19/2008)
Season 6 (2008-2009)
24 Episodes In Season 6
  1. Taterhead Is Our Love Child (Original Air Date 9/22/2008)
  2. Pie Hole, Herb (Original Air Date 9/29/2008)
  3. Damn You, Eggs Benedict (Original Air Date 10/6/2008)
  4. The Flavin' And The Mavin' (Original Air Date 10/13/2008)
  5. A Jock Strap In Hell (Original Air Date 10/20/2008)
  6. It's Always Nazi Week (Original Air Date 11/3/2008)
  7. Best H.O. Money Can Buy (Original Air Date 11/10/2008)
  8. Pinocchio's Mouth (Original Air Date 11/17/2008)
  9. The Mooch At The Boo (Original Air Date 11/24/2008)
  10. He Smelled The Ham, He Got Excited (Original Air Date 12/8/2008)
  11. The Devil's Lube (Original Air Date 12/15/2008)
  12. Thank God For Scoliosis (Original Air Date 1/12/2009)
  13. I Think You Offended Don (Original Air Date 1/19/2009)
  14. David Copperfield Slipped Me A Roofie (Original Air Date 2/2/2009)
  15. I'd Like To Start With The Cat (Original Air Date 2/9/2009)
  16. She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime (Original Air Date 3/2/2009)
  17. The 'Ocu' Or The 'Pado'? (Original Air Date 3/9/2009)
  18. My Son's Enormous Head (Original Air Date 3/16/2009)
  19. The Two Finger Rule (Original Air Date 3/23/2009)
  20. Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau (Original Air Date 4/13/2009)
  21. Above Exalted Cyclops (Original Air Date 4/27/2009)
  22. Sir Lancelot's Litter Box (Original Air Date 5/4/2009)
  23. Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth (Original Air Date 5/11/2009)
  24. Baseball With Better Steroids (Original Air Date 5/18/2009)
Season 7 (2009-2010)
22 Episodes In Season 7
  1. 818-jklpuzo (Original Air Date 9/21/2009)
  2. Whipped Unto The Third Generation (Original Air Date 9/28/2009)
  3. Mmm, Fish. Yum. (Original Air Date 10/5/2009)
  4. Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator (Original Air Date 10/12/2009)
  5. For The Sake Of The Child (Original Air Date 10/19/2009)
  6. Give Me Your Thumb (Original Air Date 11/2/2009)
  7. Untainted By Filth (Original Air Date 11/9/2009)
  8. Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. (Original Air Date 11/16/2009)
  9. Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair (Original Air Date 11/23/2009)
  10. That's Why They Call It Ball Room (Original Air Date 12/7/2009)
  11. Warning, It's Dirty (Original Air Date 12/14/2009)
  12. Fart Jokes, Pie And Celeste (Original Air Date 1/11/2010)
  13. Yay, No Polyps! (Original Air Date 1/18/2010)
  14. Crude And Uncalled For (Original Air Date 2/1/2010)
  15. Aye, Aye, Captain (Original Air Date 2/9/2010)
  16. Tinkle Like A Princess (Original Air Date 3/1/2010)
  17. I Found Your Moustache (Original Air Date 3/8/2010)
  18. Ixnay On The Oggie Day (Original Air Date 3/22/2010)
  19. Keith Moon Is Vomiting In His Grave (Original Air Date 4/12/2010)
  20. I Called Him Magoo (Original Air Date 5/10/2010)
  21. Gumby With A Pokey (Original Air Date 5/17/2010)
  22. This Is Not Gonna End Well (Original Air Date 5/24/2010)
Season 8 (2010-2011)
16 Episodes In Season 8
  1. Three Girls And A Guy Named Bud (Original Air Date 9/20/2010)
  2. A Bottle Of Wine And A Jackhammer (Original Air Date 9/27/2010)
  3. A Pudding-Filled Cactus (Original Air Date 10/4/2010)
  4. Hookers, Hookers, Hookers (Original Air Date 10/11/2010)
  5. The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel (Original Air Date 10/18/2010)
  6. Twanging Your Magic Clanger (Original Air Date 10/25/2010)
  7. The Crazy Bitch Gazette (Original Air Date 11/1/2010)
  8. Springtime On A Stick (Original Air Date 11/8/2010)
  9. A Good Time In Central Africa (Original Air Date 11/15/2010)
  10. Ow, Ow, Don't Stop (Original Air Date 11/22/2010)
  11. Dead From The Waist Down (Original Air Date 12/6/2010)
  12. Chocolate Diddlers Or My Puppy's Dead (Original Air Date 12/13/2010)
  13. Skunk, Dog, Crap And Ketchup (Original Air Date 1/3/2011)
  14. Lookin' For Japanese Subs (Original Air Date 1/17/2011)
  15. Three Hookers And A Philly Cheesesteak (Original Air Date 2/7/2011)
  16. That Darn Priest (Original Air Date 2/14/2011)
Season 9 (2011-2012)
24 Episodes In Season 9
  1. Nice To Meet You, Walden Schmidt (Original Air Date 9/19/2011)
  2. People Who Love Peepholes (Original Air Date 9/26/2011)
  3. Big Girls Don't Throw Food (Original Air Date 10/3/2011)
  4. Nine Magic Fingers (Original Air Date 10/10/2011)
  5. A Giant Cat Holding A Churro (Original Air Date 10/17/2011)
  6. The Squat And The Hover (Original Air Date 10/24/2011)
  7. Those Fancy Japanese Toilets (Original Air Date 10/31/2011)
  8. Thank You For The Intercourse (Original Air Date 11/7/2011)
  9. Frodo's Headshots (Original Air Date 11/14/2011)
  10. A Fishbowl Full Of Glass Eyes (Original Air Date 11/21/2011)
  11. What A Lovely Landing Strip (Original Air Date 12/5/2011)
  12. One False Move, Zimbabwe! (Original Air Date 12/12/2011)
  13. Slowly And In A Circular Fashion (Original Air Date 1/2/2012)
  14. A Possum On Chemo (Original Air Date 1/16/2012)
  15. The Duchess Of Dull-In-Sack (Original Air Date 2/6/2012)
  16. Sips, Sonnets And Sodomy (Original Air Date 2/13/2012)
  17. Not In My Mouth! (Original Air Date 2/20/2012)
  18. The War Against Gingivitis (Original Air Date 2/27/2012)
  19. Palmdale, Ech (Original Air Date 3/19/2012)
  20. Grandma's Pie (Original Air Date 4/9/2012)
  21. Mr. Hose Says 'Yes' (Original Air Date 4/16/2012)
  22. Why We Gave Up Women (Original Air Date 4/30/2012)
  23. The Straw In My Donut Hole (Original Air Date 5/7/2012)
  24. Oh Look! Al-Qaeda! (Original Air Date 5/14/2012)
Season 10 (2012-2013)
23 Episodes In Season 10
  1. I Changed My Mind About The Milk (Original Air Date 9/27/2012)
  2. A Big Bag Of Dog (Original Air Date 10/4/2012)
  3. Four Balls, Two Bats And One Mitt (Original Air Date 10/11/2012)
  4. You Do Know What The Lollipop Is For (Original Air Date 10/18/2012)
  5. That's Not What They Call It In Amsterdam (Original Air Date 10/25/2012)
  6. Ferrets, Attack! (Original Air Date 11/1/2012)
  7. Avoid The Chinese Mustard (Original Air Date 11/8/2012)
  8. Something My Gynecologist Said (Original Air Date 11/15/2012)
  9. I Scream When I Pee (Original Air Date 11/29/2012)
  10. One Nut Johnson (Original Air Date 12/6/2012)
  11. Give Santa A Tail-Hole (Original Air Date 12/13/2012)
  12. Welcome To Alancrest (Original Air Date 1/3/2013)
  13. Grab A Feather And Get In Line (Original Air Date 1/10/2013)
  14. Run, Steven Staven! Run! (Original Air Date 1/31/2013)
  15. Paint It, Pierce It Or Plug It (Original Air Date 2/7/2013)
  16. Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby (Original Air Date 2/14/2013)
  17. Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries (Original Air Date 2/21/2013)
  18. The 9:04 From Pemberton (Original Air Date 3/7/2013)
  19. Big Episode. Someone Stole A Spoon (Original Air Date 3/14/2013)
  20. Bazinga! That's From A TV Show (Original Air Date 4/4/2013)
  21. Another Night With Neil Diamond (Original Air Date 4/25/2013)
  22. My Bodacious Vidalia (Original Air Date 5/2/2013)
  23. Cows, Prepare To Be Tipped (Original Air Date 5/9/2013)
Season 11 (2013-2014)
22 Episodes In Season 11
  1. Nangnangnangnang (Original Air Date 9/26/2013)
  2. I Think I Banged Lucille Ball (Original Air Date 10/3/2013)
  3. This Unblessed Biscuit (Original Air Date 10/10/2013)
  4. Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank (Original Air Date 10/17/2013)
  5. Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003 (Original Air Date 10/24/2013)
  6. Justice In Star-Spangled Hot Pants (Original Air Date 11/7/2013)
  7. Some Kind Of Lesbian Zombie (Original Air Date 11/14/2013)
  8. Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room. (Original Air Date 11/21/2013)
  9. Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer (Original Air Date 12/5/2013)
  10. On Vodka, On Soda, On Blender, On Mixer! (Original Air Date 12/12/2013)
  11. Tazed In The Lady Nuts (Original Air Date 1/2/2014)
  12. Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball. (Original Air Date 1/9/2014)
  13. Bite Me, Supreme Court (Original Air Date 1/30/2014)
  14. Three Fingers Of Creme De Menthe (Original Air Date 2/6/2014)
  15. Cab Fare And A Bottle Of Penicillin (Original Air Date 2/27/2014)
  16. How To Get Rid Of Alan Harper (Original Air Date 3/6/2014)
  17. Welcome Home, Jake (Original Air Date 3/13/2014)
  18. West Side Story (Original Air Date 4/3/2014)
  19. Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang (Original Air Date 4/10/2014)
  20. Lotta Delis In Little Armenia (Original Air Date 4/24/2014)
  21. Dial 1-900-MIX-A-LOT (Original Air Date 5/1/2014)
  22. Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead (Original Air Date 5/8/2014)
Season 12 (2014-2015)
16 Episodes In Season 12
  1. The Ol' Mexican Spinach (Original Air Date 10/30/2014)
  2. A Chic Bar In Ibiza (Original Air Date 11/6/2014)
  3. Glamping In A Yurt (Original Air Date 11/13/2014)
  4. Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight (Original Air Date 11/20/2014)
  5. Oontz. Oontz. Oontz. (Original Air Date 11/27/2014)
  6. Alan Shot A Little Girl (Original Air Date 12/4/2014)
  7. Sex With An Animated Ed Asner (Original Air Date 12/11/2014)
  8. Family, Buble, Deep-Fried Turkey (Original Air Date 12/18/2014)
  9. Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey (Original Air Date 1/8/2015)
  10. Here I Come, Pants! (Original Air Date 1/15/2015)
  11. For Whom The Booty Calls (Original Air Date 1/22/2015)
  12. A Beer-Battered Rip-Off (Original Air Date 1/29/2015)
  13. Boompa Loved His Hookers (Original Air Date 2/5/2015)
  14. Don't Give A Monkey A Gun (Original Air Date 2/12/2015)
  15. Of Course He's Dead, Part One (Original Air Date 2/19/2015)
  16. Of Course He's Dead, Part Two (Original Air Date 2/19/2015)
 
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