18 To Life Episodes	Season 1
Back To Pazsaz Entertainment Network's 18 To Life Page A Modest Proposal When an escalating game of truth-or-dare gets out of hand, eighteen-year-old Tom Bellow spontaneously proposes to Jessie Hill, the girl next door. Little does he realize Jessie's up for the challenge, and the two are suddenly engaged. Though Jessie's family seems disinterested, Tom's is another story. Using every arsenal at their disposal, Ben and Judith Bellow try to reverse their son's insane decision. But their efforts backfire disastrously by driving the newlyweds closer. When Jessie's father exposes his own laid-back attitude towards the marriage as a front, the four parents form a reluctant alliance, pretending to throw their full support behind the wedding in the hopes that it will frighten the kids into calling the engagement off. But Tom and Jessie catch on to their plan and spin it to their advantage. Trouble is, with no parental barriers, the young lovers begin to have second thoughts. No Strings Attached With newlyweds Tom and Jessie waking in separate beds, it's clear they need their own pad. Luckily Tom's dad has a plan - the recently abandoned granny suite in the attic. But the suite has a price, which Tom and Jessie discover includes an unfortunate granny smell and constant interruptions in the bedroom. To break away from the parentals, Tom decides to quit college and turn his attention to finding an affordable apartment. But with little money, he's forced to turn to his best friend Carter, who lets them crash at his party pad. Trouble is, Tom's still bruised by the revelation that Carter once slept with Jessie. And Carter's still bruised by the fact that Tom's marriage has derailed their plans of rooming together. It all comes to a head when a fight breaks out between the two friends. Homeless again, Jessie and Tom return to their respective rooms, back to square one. If Tom wants to make it up to his wife, he must first make peace with his best friend. It's My Party When Monica pays a visit to Tom and Jessie's new attic apartment, she's appalled by their crappy appliances and hand-me-down fry pans. It's time the newlyweds capitalize on the free gift grab known as a "bridal shower." Jessie agrees, since it might create an opportunity to bond with her mother-in-law. But bonding with Judith doesn't go as planned, what with Jessie discovering that Judith has "forgotten" to send out the invites. Has Jessie's mother-in-law purposely neglected to invite her own friends? Is she really ashamed of the marriage? It all comes to a head in the world's most awkward bridal shower. Meanwhile, not to be outdone by the girls, Carter decides to throw Tom a bachelor party. But Phil and Ben catch wind of it and invite themselves along. In a night of duelling parties, Tom is about to learn one of life's harshest lessons: the only thing worse than your father watching you cut loose, is watching your father cut loose. Detour Tom's starting to feel a little emasculated - his ill-advised attempts to get everyone to say "Tom and Jessie" instead of "Jessie and Tom" are failing, and the pussy-whip jokes from Carter are wearing thin. No way around it, it's time he gets a driver's license. But when his father's lessons degenerate into a yell-a-thon and everyone else in the known universe proves too busy, the only person he can turn to is Jessie. Thus begins one of their relationships most gruelling tests as the twosome go on a painful series of driving lessons. But what starts out as a simple driving lesson soon evolves into a metaphor for control of the relationship. Meanwhile, fed up with Tara's control of his viewing schedule, Phil purchases a new TV remote control so complicated only he can understand it. The remote gives Phil the upper hand, at least at first. Phil and Tara enjoy a game of "who's in charge," one-upping each other for the ultimate prize. Baby Got Bank Tom and Jessie receive a belated wedding gift from Tom's Uncle - a cheque for three thousand dollars. After considering blowing it on a flat screen TV, Jessie decides instead to open a joint bank account. Tom encourages the idea, buying into the adage "what's mine is yours." But he soon discovers it's all "mine" and no "yours", given that virtually all their shared assets come from him. What's worse is that Jessie proves terrible with money, evidenced by her habit of purchasing rare Grateful Dead albums for her father and expensive cappuccino machines for Tom. Tom reacts by freezing their account and putting Jessie on an "allowance", but the war is only beginning. Meanwhile, Judith mistakenly catches Ben checking out Tara's assets, prompting her to ask Tara to be her workout partner. But when Tara's workouts prove too intense for Judith, she begins to convert Tara to a much more relaxing workout: the martini lunch. Tara catches onto the ruse. But to both women's surprise, they form a reluctant bond over the real reason for their sexist behaviour: their men. Goy Story When Judith is confronted with Jessie's gentile ways ("a few bacon bits in that matzo ball soup will liven 'er right up") she suggests they bring in an expert. But even though Rabbi Goldstein converted Ben long ago, Ben seems less than thrilled to hear his name. What Judith doesn't know is that while Ben took every step necessary to conform to the Jewish faith, he stopped short at that whole ceremonial circumcision thing. In fact, Ben has spent the last twenty-plus years living a lie and only Goldstein knows his secret. That is until Tom, lying to his own wife about his college enrolment, finds out. Tom and Ben agree to cover for each other - for now. But when Judith invites the Rabbi to dinner with the Hills, Ben is thrown into a panic. Luckily Rabbi Goldstein doesn't know Ben and Judith ended up getting married. So a quick-thinking Phil comes to the rescue, introducing himself as Judith's husband and Ben as his neighbour. With Tom's help, Ben and Phil must each pretend they're married to the other's wife without letting Goldstein or the women in on the ruse. The lies all slowly unravel over the world's most awkward dinner. Hanging Pictures When Tom and Jessie are interrupted by mid-deed by amorous bumping below, Tom calms Jessie down - his old man's just hanging a picture. Seems they have a habit of rearranging furniture at night, and have done so ever since he was a kid. When Jessie informs Tom his parents are actually having sex, Tom nearly loses his dinner. The next day at breakfast, Jessie blurts out that Tom "heard them", only to discover that Ben and Judith hear them too. Even worse, they're perfectly fine with it. With sex losing its lustre due to parental endorsement, Tom and Jessie seek to make it "hot" again. Phil's garage, therefore, is the perfect place to get their mojo back. Alas, the plan backfires when Phil comes home early and catches them flagrante delicto. Unable to erase the image from his mind, Phil elects to burn his favourite lounger on which the act took place, his own love life going up in flames in the process. The No Sex virus even spreads to Ben and Judith, who face a mini-crises of their own... Will anyone ever get it on again? Phil 'Er Up When Tara and Phil get into a fight-to-end-all-fights, Jessie takes her father's side. In response, Tara kicks Phil out of the house, and Jessie and Tom are forced to take him in. Tom is horrified to have his father-in-law as a roommate, and turns to his bud Carter to help get rid of him. But a funny thing happens along the way: Carter and Tom discover that Phil is actually (dare they say it) cool. Suddenly Phil finds himself eighteen again, playing X-Box all night, introducing the boys to the Ramones, and inventing a game he calls "hall hockey." Even Ben and Judith succumb to his charms, getting roped into playing day long rounds of Texas Hold'em while blaring Wayne Newton. Fed up, Jessie turns to her acerbic best friend Ava - only to discover Ava now has a crush on Phil. Jessie is forced to take radical measures to get her parents back under the same roof. Working Noon To Five When his father gets Tom a job at his old law firm, Tom puts on a suit and a smile. But when Tom catches a glimpse of his future, he "pulls a Tom" and storms out. Unemployed, Tom turns to his father-in-law Phil, who offers Tom an "exciting business opportunity." Alas, Phil's just trying to unload a bunch of skanky dream-catchers, a product that nobody wants anything to do with. That is, until Tom rebrands them as lucky money charms called "greencatchers." Suddenly they're flying off the shelves. Tom can't help but lord his new financial situation over his dad, resetting the balance of power and turning the two families upside-down. Meanwhile, Judith laments her outdated kitchen, prompting Jessie to offer her newly aquired design skills. Not wanting to offend her daughter-in-law, Judith accepts the offer - only to shut Jessie down every step of the way due to "money-constraints". But when Tom suddenly finds himself rolling in green, he offers to fund his wife's reno. Judith is forced to play along, igniting an epic power-struggle that re-defines the term "kitchen nightmare." Guess Who's Coming To Dinner Tired of ping-ponging between parents for Sunday dinner, the newlyweds declare their independence by inviting both families for a formal dinner at the loft. With this one gesture, they'll establish themselves as independent while encouraging inter-parental bonding. But it soon becomes apparent that Tom and Jessie have radically different culinary takes, and the two decide to go separate ways with competing dishes. Meanwhile, the four parents accidentally lock themselves in the garage. Phil won't let them break his newly installed windows, Judith's cell phone is out of juice, and the refugee, wandering in and out of sight in the Bellows backyard, remains oblivious. But as time wanes on, it's the parents who find themselves bonding while Tom and Jessie begin to crack under the pressure of their culinary endeavors. While Phil's "special" brownies may well heal the rift between the elders, what does it matter if a bigger chasm is forming between Tom and Jessie? In Sickness And In Health When Tom lands in bed with a bad cold, Jessie learns he's a high-maintenance patient. Thankfully Judith has kicked into super-mom mode and is tending to Tom's every whim. But when Ava warns Jessie that Judith will use this to insinuate her way into all aspect of their lives, a panicked Jessie returns to the loft with a tray of instant chicken soup, only to collide with Judith on the stairs with a tray of her own. Tom enjoys the duelling attention so much he stretches his "sickness" past the point of recovery. But when Judith catches onto his ruse, she teams with Jessie, and the two hatch a plan to turn the tables. Meanwhile, Ben accidentally gets Phil's mail and finds out to his despair that Phil's a member of MENSA. Ben decides to take the MENSA test himself and fails, prompting a crisis of confidence: if Ben is not as smart as Phil, who is he? Meanwhile Tara has a crisis of her own involving the local mailman. Ever since he failed to comply to her strict "no junk mail" policy, he's been on the warpath. Tara's attempts to win over the crusty mailman prove much more difficult than she thought. Wing Man Life as a married man can be all-consuming: arguments, in-laws, make-up sex, normal sex. Luckily Tom has a friend like Carter to remind him that he's still eighteen. So, at Carter's insistence, Tom accompanies him to a campus party for some innocent fun. Innocent, that is, until Carter spots his dream girl and asks Tom to distract her friend by being his Wing Man... his unwed, available Wing Man. With no pressure to hook up, Tom finds it easier to talk to the girl, even tell her things he can't say to Jessie. What's the worst that can happen? The hot girl you're pretending to be interested in wants to have sex? You run off and accidently forget your cellphone? Or your wife calls said cell phone and finds out about the whole thing? Meanwhile Jessie gets a peek into Monica's Sex-In-The-City lifestyle when she helps her design her new pad. The Poster Girl for the Single Life starts to rub off on Jessie. One night at the club, Jessie gets carried away and ends up losing Tom's ring. Now Tom and Jessie both have secrets, and their marriage is about to face its toughest test yet.
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