Better Off Ted Episodes	Season 1
Back To Pazsaz Entertainment Network's Better Off Ted Page Pilot Ted finds out just how far Veronica's willing to go for Veridian's greater good when she charges him with convincing brilliant research scientist Phil to be cryogenically frozen for a test experiment. Phil is excited, even if best friend and research partner, Lem, is a little jealous and Ted is more than a little worried about the long-term effects if the experiment actually goes ahead. Heroes When Phil begins displaying some after-effects from being frozen, Veronica realizes she needs to get him to sign a legal waiver letting Veridian off the hook. Ted comes up with a more humane way of getting Phil to sign the waiver and to make him feel appreciated for being frozen in the first place. Meanwhile, Phil and Lem try - with mixed results - growing cow-less meat in the lab. Through Rose Colored HAZMAT Suits When the nanny calls in sick, Ted reluctantly takes daughter Rose to work, where Veronica forms a surprising (if frightening) bond with the little girl. Rose's visit to Veridian also stirs up trouble when a casual remark she makes sends Phil and Lem into a tailspin about just who has the upper hand in their work relationship. Meanwhile, Ted finds out where he stands with Linda when her ex-boyfriend comes back to town. Racial Sensitivity Ted is horrified to learn that Veridian's new state-of-the-art sensor system, based on light reflecting off the skin, doesn't detect the company's African American employees, including a very angry Lem. But things go from bad to worse when Veronica and the other execs try half-baked measures to fix the problem without going to the actual expense of replacing the system. Win Some, Dose Some Phil and Lem accidentally dose Linda with an experimental drug that gives her freakish bursts of energy, along with other unexpected side effects. Meanwhile, competition gets the best of Ted and Veronica when they help Rose sell wrapping paper for her school fundraiser. Goodbye, Mr. Chips Ted ends up erasing himself from Veridian's system entirely while trying to fix the misspelled name on his employee ID. Without him around, things quickly fall apart in the lab and the gang has to resort to desperate measures to get Ted his job back. Get Happy Veronica comes up with some novel ways for Veridian to boost employee morale when a survey reveals they're miserable. But since the survey also showed that she's too intimidating, she's got to work on being more likable, even if it kills her. Meanwhile, Ted tries to win over the only segment of the Veridian population he didn't score well with - men over 50. You Are The Boss Of Me With daughter Rose out of town, Ted tries socializing with Lem and Phil. They reluctantly invite him to their Medieval Fight Club, held in Veridian's basement. Once Ted's sucked into the action, he finds he can't stop, oblivious to the fact that his presence is making everyone else feel like they're still on the clock. Meanwhile, Linda attempts to befriend Veronica and realizes they might be better off staying in a boss/employee relationship. Bioshuffle When Dr. Bhamba's biocomputer starts spewing toxic ooze into the Veridian offices, everyone is uprooted. Tensions mount after Linda temporarily moves into Ted's office, eventually driving Ted into Veronica's office. Meanwhile, socially inept Lem works up the nerve to ask Lucy, a beautiful Veridian scientist, out on a date. Trust And Consequence The company tries to make Linda the scapegoat in a lawsuit for a perfume Veridian created that causes women to be attacked by hornets, even though Linda insists she sent an email warning Ted and Veronica. Linda thinks Ted has betrayed her, while Ted insists he never got the email. Meanwhile, the depositions for the case leave Phil and Lem's friendship in tatters when Phil is forced to admit that he lied about attending Lem's alma mater, M.I.T. Father, Can You Hair Me? Veronica's rivalry with her dad, the CEO for another big company, is out of control until she learns a shocking bit of news. Meanwhile, Ted is thrilled that Phil and Lem may have discovered the one thing that would impress his impossible-to-please dad - a cure for baldness. There's just one problem: Once hair starts growing, they just can't stop it. Jabberwocky When Linda hears that Veridian is going "green," Ted can't bear to tell her it's just another empty promise. He makes up a non-existent project, code named Jabberwocky, to secretly divert funds so Linda can build a rooftop garden. The problem is, people at Veridian start to believe Jabberwocky is real and want in on what they think is the company's hottest project. Secrets And Lives A new Veridian invention accidentally reveals buttoned-up Veronica's surprising "secret" life. Meanwhile, Linda decides that if Ted won't date her, she's going to fix him up with her old roommate, Rebecca.
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