Kathy Griffin: My Life On The D-List Episode Guide, Season 4

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And The Award Goes To...
Kathy gets a chance to redeem herself from her Emmy acceptance speech in the eyes of Christian Americans. America's favorite Prada-clad journalist, Anderson Cooper, has invited her to co-host CNN's New Year's Eve Countdown show. She and the seriously credible "Andy," as Kathy likes to call him, will be broadcasting LIVE to 220 countries. And as if Anderson Cooper wasn't enough, now My Life on the D-List has been nominated for a Producers Guild Award, and Kathy has actually been invited to present. This is Kathy's big chance. The PGA awards promise to have a heavy A-List attendance. With Steve "Woz" Wozniak on her arm (for protection against the likes of Oprah and her best friend Gayle), she's sure to make a splash. The competition in the non-fiction category is stiff, as Kathy riles against "Planet Earth."

Home Is Where The Profit Is
Kathy's assistant's assistant, Tiffany, and her tour manager, Tom, are here to stay - but what do we really know about them? Kathy may be starting her staff background checks a year late, but you never can be too careful about employees found on MySpace or those who have been so quickly promoted from dog-walker/roommate to tour manager. Kathy's decided that the best way to really get to know her new staff is to visit their hometowns. Kathy's booked two stand up gigs - one in Tom's hometown of St. Louis, Missouri, and one in Tiffany's hometown of Tracy, California. She will meet their families and milk her own publicity machine by throwing them into the local media spotlight. Tom and Tiffany better work the "local hero" angle to sell tickets. Kathy meets Tom's beat cop brother, Bill, and the mayor of St. Louis, who declares it "Tom Vize Day?" And what about sweet, giggly Tiffany? Tickets aren't exactly moving for Kathy's show in the sleepy cow town of Tracy, so Tiffany is going to have to hustle. Kathy's Emmy win has given her award fever so she decides to go for a Grammy. Hell, if Obama, Clinton, and even Woz can win one, they must be giving them away. So Kathy makes plans to record a live CD of her stand up. Kathy also meets with Bon Jovi's cousin, who is an expert in merchandising, to discuss why t-shirts sales are so low at her performances. Safe to say, it's going to involve Team Griffin hustling like they never have before in order to get those sales up.

Fly The Super Gay Skies/a>
Kathy's gay fan base has reached international proportions and it's time to travel to the land down under to receive the love (and publicity) that she so richly deserves (and craves). And what better time of year to visit Oz and the Emerald City than during Gay Mardi Gras? For the Mardi Gras parade, Kathy will be riding on top of a float through downtown Sydney. But before she can go down under, she has to go up, up and away on one of her craziest D-List gigs yet - she'll be the hostess of Air New Zealand's Pink Flight from San Francisco to Sydney (you don't see Chris Rock having to take gigs like this). This special flight features a bevy of flight attendant drag queens and gay themed in-flight entertainment including a stand up performance by Kathy over a PA system at 35,000 feet. Kathy will be beside herself with a captive audience that is ready to party for 15 hours straight. And by straight, we mean gay.

Otters, Cubs And Bears... Oh My!
Kathy's assistant, Jessica, her assistant's assistant, Tiffany, and her tour manager Tom have become so famous that they're doing their own class at The Learning Annex on how to be a celebrity assistant. Meanwhile, Kathy's mom, Maggie, is spending more time at Kathy's house because she needs supervision thanks to an issue she's having with her balance. And while she loves her mom, her conservative opinions are driving Kathy nuts. Besides, the wine bill has tripled. So what's a daughter to do? Give Maggie her very own gay. While Kathy's traveling, she's worrying about her Mom home alone, so she's asked one of her sober gays, Patrick, to stop in to check on Maggie. But a daily check in has blossomed into a full-blown May/December romance (never mind that he's gay and she's straight and pushing 90) -- Patrick is showing Maggie a good time. Between shopping, intimate dinners and trips to the acupuncturist, Kathy's not sure what to make of this new arrangement, but mostly she's upset that Maggie has stolen her gay. Kathy's loveable mutts are also driving her crazy. Chance and Pom-Pom have stopped snacking on the sofa because with all of these extra people in the house there are more treats to beg for. Kathy can't get them to come when she calls anymore and no one seems to care, so she's going to enlist the help of A-List trainer (and Emmy loser), Cesar Millan. Later, Kathy takes Woz to The Bear Ball in San Francisco. This is her chance to introduce Woz to her family -- thousands of gay men with big bellies and back hair.

Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace
Kathy is performing at Madison Square Garden - SOLD OUT!!! But Kathy's been re-banned from the "The View" because of a harmless joke about Barbara Walters. It's fine to be sold out, but without press such an achievement seems wasted. Luckily, she's found a perfect way to get publicity. There is a quirky Jewish couple in Queens whose dream wedding includes Kathy serving as their minister. She could probably get Page 6 and maybe the local news to cover it. All it requires is that she gets ordained on the Internet. A trip to New York also means she'll have chance to see her pal, Rosie O'Donnell. Jessica and Tiffany are dying to play in Rosie's craft room. And just to make things extra fun, Kathy's hooking up with old friends Molly Shannon and Megan Mullally while she's in town.

No Time For Siestas
Let's face it: Kathy is building an empire and more importantly, she's trying to turn herself into the red headed Oprah. Therefore, she's going to open up the "Kathy Griffin Leadership Academy" in Mexico, located near her favorite Villa in Puerto Vallarta. This will definitely get her some Mexican press. Kathy also has to work every angle to get some corporate donations -- shouldn't Woz be able to help? And she has Team Griffin as free labor.

Busted In Bora Bora
Kathy wants her mom to check out some retirement homes, but Maggie won't listen. Luckily Kathy's nephew, JP, and niece, Claire, are coming into town and grandma always listens to them. So with her partners in crime, Kathy thinks she may be able to convince her mom to at least give Villa Gardens a try. Meanwhile, Kathy's got two tickets to paradise - but she needs two more and she doesn't want to pay for them. In fact, she doesn't want to pay for anything as she and Team Griffin head down to Bora Bora for what can only be described as a once-in-a-gay-lifetime experience. Kathy has been invited to appear at a special gay retreat being held at an all-inclusive luxury resort in Bora Bora. What could be nicer than to be adored by 60 gays who have paid top dollar for the privilege of breathing the same Polynesian air as Kathy? But there's a catch. She must do two stand-up performances and stop by a resort event for a "surprise" visit so she can mingle among her fans like a real person. Problem is, this gay retreat is actually 40% straight (at least)! With odds like that it's no wonder Kathy bombs at her first performance.

For Your [Grammy] Consideration
Kathy spins a plan to garner publicity for her CD, venturing on a promotional odyssey and trying to attract the paparazzi with a most-unlikely date. However, it seems her popular mother is the one grabbing the press's attention.

Woz Love Got To Do With It?
Kathy joins computer maven Steve Wozniak in Silicon Valley to cohost a Humane Society charity event, but circumstances test their relationship. Meanwhile, Kathy tries to play Cupid for an actress gal pal.

Red, White And Don't Be Blue
Kathy visits Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, D.C., to spread cheer to recuperating soldiers with a special stand-up performance.