Two And A Half Men - Pazsaz Entertainment Network

Season 1 (2003-2004)
24 Episodes In Season 1

Pilot (Original Air Date 9/22/2003)
Big Flappy Bastards (Original Air Date 9/29/2003)
Go East On Sunset Until You Reach The Gates Of Hell (Original Air Date 10/6/2003)
If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going To Take A Nap (Original Air Date 10/13/2003)
The Last Thing You Want Is To Wind Up With A Hump (Original Air Date 10/20/2003)
Did You Check With The Captain Of The Flying Monkeys? (Original Air Date 10/27/2003)
If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake (Original Air Date 11/3/2003)
Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without A Snoot-Ful (Original Air Date 11/10/2003)
Phase One, Complete (Original Air Date 11/17/20030
Merry Thanksgiving (Original Air Date 11/24/2003)
Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor (Original Air Date 12/15/2003)
Camel Filters + Pheromones (Original Air Date 1/5/2004)
Sara Like Puny Alan (Original Air Date 1/12/2004)
I Can't Afford Hyenas (Original Air Date 2/2/2004)
Round One To The Hot Crazy Chick, Part 1 (Original Air Date 2/9/2004)
That Was Saliva, Alan, Part 2 (Original Air Date 2/16/2004)
Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats (Original Air Date 2/23/2004)
An Old Flame With A New Wick (Original Air Date 3/1/2004)
I Remember The Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You (Original Air Date 3/22/2004)
Hey, I Can Pee Outside In The Dark (Original Air Date 4/19/2004)
No Sniffing, No Wowing (Original Air Date 5/3/2004)
My Doctor Has A Cow Puppet (Original Air Date 5/10/2004)
Just Like Buffalo (Original Air Date 5/17/2004)
Can You Feel My Finger? (Original Air Date 5/24/2004)

Season 2 (2004-2005)
24 Episodes In Season 2

Back Off Mary Poppins (Original Air Date 9/20/2004)
Enjoy Those Garlic Balls (Original Air Date 9/27/2004)
A Bag Full Of Jawea (Original Air Date 10/4/2004)
Go Get Mommy's Bra (Original Air Date 10/11/2004)
Bad News From The Clinic (Original Air Date 10/18/2004)
The Price Of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance (Original Air Date 10/25/2004)
A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out In Fontana (Original Air Date 11/8/2004)
Frankenstein And The Horny Villagers (Original Air Date 11/15/2004)
Yes, Monsignor (Original Air Date 11/22/2004)
The Salmon Under My Sweater (Original Air Date 11/29/2004)
Last Chance To See Those Tattoos (Original Air Date 12/13/2004)
A Lungful Of Alan (Original Air Date 1/3/2005)
Zejdz Z Moich Wlosow (Original Air Date 1/17/2005)
Those Big Pink Things With Coconut (Original Air Date 1/31/2005)
Smell The Umbrella Stand (Original Air Date 2/7/2005)
Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth? (Original Air Date 2/14/2005)
Woo-Hoo, A Hernia Exam! (Original Air Date 2/21/2005)
It Was Mame, Mom (Original Air Date 3/7/2005)
A Low, Gutteral Tongue-Flapping Noise (Original Air Date 3/21/2005)
I Always Wanted A Shaved Monkey (Original Air Date 4/18/2005)
A Sympathetic Crotch To Cry On (Original Air Date 5/2/2005)
That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother (Original Air Date 5/9/2005)
Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab (Original Air Date 5/16/2005)
Does This Smell Funny To You? (Original Air Date 5/23/2005)

Season 3 (2005-2006)
22 Episodes In Season 3

Weekend In Bangkok With Two Olympic Gymnasts (Original Air Date 9/19/2005)
Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover (Original Air Date 9/16/2005)
Carpet Burns And A Bite Mark (Original Air Date 10/3/2005)
Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs (Original Air Date 10/10/2005)
We Called It Mr. Pinky (Original Air Date 10/17/2005)
Hi, Mr. Horned One (Original Air Date 10/24/2005)
Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop (Original Air Date 11/7/2005)
That Voodoo That I Do Do (Original Air Date 11/14/2005)
Madame And Her Special Friend (Original Air Date 11/21/2005)
Something Salted And Twisted (Original Air Date 11/28/2005)
Santa's Village Of The Damned (Original Air Date 12/19/2005)
That Special Tug (Original Air Date 1/9/2006)
Humiliation Is A Visual Medium (Original Air Date 1/23/2006)
Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded (Original Air Date 2/6/2006)
My Tongue Is Meat (Original Air Date 2/27/2006)
Ergo, The Booty Call (Original Air Date 3/6/2006)
The Unfortunate Little Schnauser (Original Air Date 3/13/2006)
The Spit-Covered Cobbler (Original Air Date 3/20/2006)
Golly Moses, She's A Muffin (Original Air Date 4/10/2006)
Always A Bridesmaid, Never A Burro (Original Air Date 4/24/2006)
And The Plot Moistens (Original Air Date 5/1/2006)
Just Once With Aunt Sophie (Original Air Date 5/8/2006)
Arguments For The Quickie (Original Air Date 5/15/2006)
That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite (Original Air Date 5/22/2006)

Season 4 (2006-2007)
24 Episodes In Season 4

Working For Caligula (Original Air Date 9/18/2006)
Who's Vod Kanockers (Original Air Date 9/25/2006)
The Sea Is A Harsh Mistress (Original Air Date 10/2/2006)
A Pot Smoking Monkey (Original Air Date 10/9/2006)
A Live Woman Of Proven Fertility (Original Air Date 10/16/2006)
Apologies For The Frivolity (Original Air Date 10/23/2006)
Repeated Blows To His Unformed Head (Original Air Date 11/6/2006)
Release The Dogs (Original Air Date 11/13/2006)
Corey's Been Dead For An Hour (Original Air Date 11/20/2006)
Kissing Abraham Lincoln (Original Air Date 11/27/2006)
Walnuts And Demerol (Original Air Date 12/11/2006)
Castrating Sheep In Montana (Original Air Date 1/8/2007)
Don't Worry, Speed Racer (Original Air Date 1/22/2007)
That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami (Original Air Date 2/5/2007)
My Damn Stalker (Original Air Date 2/12/2007)
Young People Have Phlegm Too (Original Air Date 2/19/2007)
I Merely Slept With A Commie (Original Air Date 2/26/2007)
It Never Rains In Hooterville (Original Air Date 3/19/2007)
Smooth As A Ken Doll (Original Air Date 4/9/2007)
Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee A Lot (Original Air Date 4/16/2007)
Tucked, Taped And Gorgeous (Original Air Date 4/23/2007)
Mr. McGlue's Feedbag (Original Air Date 4/30/2007)
Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin' (Original Air Date 5/7/2007)
Prostitutes And Gelato (Original Air Date 5/14/2007)

Season 5 (2007-2008)
19 Episodes In Season 5

Large Birds, Spiders And Mom (Original Air Date 9/24/2007)
Media Room Slash Dungeon (Original Air Date 10/1/2007)
Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo (Original Air Date 10/8/2007)
City Of Great Racks (Original Air Date 10/15/2007)
Putting Swim Fins On A Cat (Original Air Date 10/22/2007)
Help Daddy Find His Toenail (Original Air Date 10/29/2007)
The Leather Gear Is In The Guest Room (Original Air Date 11/5/2007)
Is There A Mrs. Waffles? (Original Air Date 11/12/2007)
Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids (Original Air Date 11/19/2007)
Almost Like Necrophilia (Original Air Date 11/26/2007)
Meander To Your Dander (Original Air Date 3/17/2008)
A Little Clammy And None Too Fresh (Original Air Date 3/24/2008)
The Soil Is Moist (Original Air Date 3/31/2008)
Winky-Dink Time (Original Air Date 4/14/2008)
Rough Night In Hump Junction (Original Air Date 4/21/2008)
Look At Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty (Original Air Date 4/28/2008)
Fish In A Drawer (Original Air Date 5/5/2008)
If My Hole Could Talk (Original Air Date 5/12/2008)
Waiting For The Right Snapper (Original Air Date 5/19/2008)

Season 6 (2008-2009)
24 Episodes In Season 6

Taterhead Is Our Love Child (Original Air Date 9/22/2008)
Pie Hole, Herb (Original Air Date 9/29/2008)
Damn You, Eggs Benedict (Original Air Date 10/6/2008)
The Flavin' And The Mavin' (Original Air Date 10/13/2008)
A Jock Strap In Hell (Original Air Date 10/20/2008)
It's Always Nazi Week (Original Air Date 11/3/2008)
Best H.O. Money Can Buy (Original Air Date 11/10/2008)
Pinocchio's Mouth (Original Air Date 11/17/2008)
The Mooch At The Boo (Original Air Date 11/24/2008)
He Smelled The Ham, He Got Excited (Original Air Date 12/8/2008)
The Devil's Lube (Original Air Date 12/15/2008)
Thank God For Scoliosis (Original Air Date 1/12/2009)
I Think You Offended Don (Original Air Date 1/19/2009)
David Copperfield Slipped Me A Roofie (Original Air Date 2/2/2009)
I'd Like To Start With The Cat (Original Air Date 2/9/2009)
She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime (Original Air Date 3/2/2009)
The 'Ocu' Or The 'Pado'? (Original Air Date 3/9/2009)
My Son's Enormous Head (Original Air Date 3/16/2009)
The Two Finger Rule (Original Air Date 3/23/2009)
Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau (Original Air Date 4/13/2009)
Above Exalted Cyclops (Original Air Date 4/27/2009)
Sir Lancelot's Litter Box (Original Air Date 5/4/2009)
Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth (Original Air Date 5/11/2009)
Baseball With Better Steroids (Original Air Date 5/18/2009)

Season 7 (2009-2010)
22 Episodes In Season 7

818-jklpuzo (Original Air Date 9/21/2009)
Whipped Unto The Third Generation (Original Air Date 9/28/2009)
Mmm, Fish. Yum. (Original Air Date 10/5/2009)
Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator (Original Air Date 10/12/2009)
For The Sake Of The Child (Original Air Date 10/19/2009)
Give Me Your Thumb (Original Air Date 11/2/2009)
Untainted By Filth (Original Air Date 11/9/2009)
Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. (Original Air Date 11/16/2009)
Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair (Original Air Date 11/23/2009)
That's Why They Call It Ball Room (Original Air Date 12/7/2009)
Warning, It's Dirty (Original Air Date 12/14/2009)
Fart Jokes, Pie And Celeste (Original Air Date 1/11/2010)
Yay, No Polyps! (Original Air Date 1/18/2010)
Crude And Uncalled For (Original Air Date 2/1/2010)
Aye, Aye, Captain (Original Air Date 2/9/2010)
Tinkle Like A Princess (Original Air Date 3/1/2010)
I Found Your Moustache (Original Air Date 3/8/2010)
Ixnay On The Oggie Day (Original Air Date 3/22/2010)
Keith Moon Is Vomiting In His Grave (Original Air Date 4/12/2010)
I Called Him Magoo (Original Air Date 5/10/2010)
Gumby With A Pokey (Original Air Date 5/17/2010)
This Is Not Gonna End Well (Original Air Date 5/24/2010)

Season 8 (2010-2011)
16 Episodes In Season 8

Three Girls And A Guy Named Bud (Original Air Date 9/20/2010)
A Bottle Of Wine And A Jackhammer (Original Air Date 9/27/2010)
A Pudding-Filled Cactus (Original Air Date 10/4/2010)
Hookers, Hookers, Hookers (Original Air Date 10/11/2010)
The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel (Original Air Date 10/18/2010)
Twanging Your Magic Clanger (Original Air Date 10/25/2010)
The Crazy Bitch Gazette (Original Air Date 11/1/2010)
Springtime On A Stick (Original Air Date 11/8/2010)
A Good Time In Central Africa (Original Air Date 11/15/2010)
Ow, Ow, Don't Stop (Original Air Date 11/22/2010)
Dead From The Waist Down (Original Air Date 12/6/2010)
Chocolate Diddlers Or My Puppy's Dead (Original Air Date 12/13/2010)
Skunk, Dog, Crap And Ketchup (Original Air Date 1/3/2011)
Lookin' For Japanese Subs (Original Air Date 1/17/2011)
Three Hookers And A Philly Cheesesteak (Original Air Date 2/7/2011)
That Darn Priest (Original Air Date 2/14/2011)

Season 9 (2011-2012)
24 Episodes In Season 9

Nice To Meet You, Walden Schmidt (Original Air Date 9/19/2011)
People Who Love Peepholes (Original Air Date 9/26/2011)
Big Girls Don't Throw Food (Original Air Date 10/3/2011)
Nine Magic Fingers (Original Air Date 10/10/2011)
A Giant Cat Holding A Churro (Original Air Date 10/17/2011)
The Squat And The Hover (Original Air Date 10/24/2011)
Those Fancy Japanese Toilets (Original Air Date 10/31/2011)
Thank You For The Intercourse (Original Air Date 11/7/2011)
Frodo's Headshots (Original Air Date 11/14/2011)
A Fishbowl Full Of Glass Eyes (Original Air Date 11/21/2011)
What A Lovely Landing Strip (Original Air Date 12/5/2011)
One False Move, Zimbabwe! (Original Air Date 12/12/2011)
Slowly And In A Circular Fashion (Original Air Date 1/2/2012)
A Possum On Chemo (Original Air Date 1/16/2012)
The Duchess Of Dull-In-Sack (Original Air Date 2/6/2012)
Sips, Sonnets And Sodomy (Original Air Date 2/13/2012)
Not In My Mouth! (Original Air Date 2/20/2012)
The War Against Gingivitis (Original Air Date 2/27/2012)
Palmdale, Ech (Original Air Date 3/19/2012)
Grandma's Pie (Original Air Date 4/9/2012)
Mr. Hose Says 'Yes' (Original Air Date 4/16/2012)
Why We Gave Up Women (Original Air Date 4/30/2012)
The Straw In My Donut Hole (Original Air Date 5/7/2012)
Oh Look! Al-Qaeda! (Original Air Date 5/14/2012)

Season 10 (2012-2013)
23 Episodes In Season 10

I Changed My Mind About The Milk (Original Air Date 9/27/2012)
A Big Bag Of Dog (Original Air Date 10/4/2012)
Four Balls, Two Bats And One Mitt (Original Air Date 10/11/2012)
You Do Know What The Lollipop Is For (Original Air Date 10/18/2012)
That's Not What They Call It In Amsterdam (Original Air Date 10/25/2012)
Ferrets, Attack! (Original Air Date 11/1/2012)
Avoid The Chinese Mustard (Original Air Date 11/8/2012)
Something My Gynecologist Said (Original Air Date 11/15/2012)
I Scream When I Pee (Original Air Date 11/29/2012)
One Nut Johnson (Original Air Date 12/6/2012)
Give Santa A Tail-Hole (Original Air Date 12/13/2012)
Welcome To Alancrest (Original Air Date 1/3/2013)
Grab A Feather And Get In Line (Original Air Date 1/10/2013)
Run, Steven Staven! Run! (Original Air Date 1/31/2013)
Paint It, Pierce It Or Plug It (Original Air Date 2/7/2013)
Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby (Original Air Date 2/14/2013)
Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries (Original Air Date 2/21/2013)
The 9:04 From Pemberton (Original Air Date 3/7/2013)
Big Episode. Someone Stole A Spoon (Original Air Date 3/14/2013)
Bazinga! That's From A TV Show (Original Air Date 4/4/2013)
Another Night With Neil Diamond (Original Air Date 4/25/2013)
My Bodacious Vidalia (Original Air Date 5/2/2013)
Cows, Prepare To Be Tipped (Original Air Date 5/9/2013)

Season 11 (2013-2014)
22 Episodes In Season 11

Nangnangnangnang (Original Air Date 9/26/2013)
I Think I Banged Lucille Ball (Original Air Date 10/3/2013)
This Unblessed Biscuit (Original Air Date 10/10/2013)
Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank (Original Air Date 10/17/2013)
Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003 (Original Air Date 10/24/2013)
Justice In Star-Spangled Hot Pants (Original Air Date 11/7/2013)
Some Kind Of Lesbian Zombie (Original Air Date 11/14/2013)
Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room. (Original Air Date 11/21/2013)
Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer (Original Air Date 12/5/2013)
On Vodka, On Soda, On Blender, On Mixer! (Original Air Date 12/12/2013)
Tazed In The Lady Nuts (Original Air Date 1/2/2014)
Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball. (Original Air Date 1/9/2014)
Bite Me, Supreme Court (Original Air Date 1/30/2014)
Three Fingers Of Creme De Menthe (Original Air Date 2/6/2014)
Cab Fare And A Bottle Of Penicillin (Original Air Date 2/27/2014)
How To Get Rid Of Alan Harper (Original Air Date 3/6/2014)
Welcome Home, Jake (Original Air Date 3/13/2014)
West Side Story (Original Air Date 4/3/2014)
Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang (Original Air Date 4/10/2014)
Lotta Delis In Little Armenia (Original Air Date 4/24/2014)
Dial 1-900-MIX-A-LOT (Original Air Date 5/1/2014)
Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead (Original Air Date 5/8/2014)

Season 12 (2014-2015)
16 Episodes In Season 12

The Ol' Mexican Spinach (Original Air Date 10/30/2014)
A Chic Bar In Ibiza (Original Air Date 11/6/2014)
Glamping In A Yurt (Original Air Date 11/13/2014)
Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight (Original Air Date 11/20/2014)
Oontz. Oontz. Oontz. (Original Air Date 11/27/2014)
Alan Shot A Little Girl (Original Air Date 12/4/2014)
Sex With An Animated Ed Asner (Original Air Date 12/11/2014)
Family, Buble, Deep-Fried Turkey (Original Air Date 12/18/2014)
Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey (Original Air Date 1/8/2015)
Here I Come, Pants! (Original Air Date 1/15/2015)
For Whom The Booty Calls (Original Air Date 1/22/2015)
A Beer-Battered Rip-Off (Original Air Date 1/29/2015)
Boompa Loved His Hookers (Original Air Date 2/5/2015)
Don't Give A Monkey A Gun (Original Air Date 2/12/2015)
Of Course He's Dead, Part One (Original Air Date 2/19/2015)
Of Course He's Dead, Part Two (Original Air Date 2/19/2015)